Bearing (В. Седов, В.Седов (перевод - А.Карпов))

It happened at a big plant, At one of many night-shifts. The moon was shining brightly On buildings and the ground. In a deserted workshop There stood a jolly foreman And he was checking bearings, And no-one was around. The job was pretty boring, And he was a shock-worker! Good guy and cheerful fellow. And while nobody saw He came to a conveyer And took a big steel bearing And put this big steel bearing On something... you must know! He didn't think that moment Of what could really happen, His eyes did blaze with passion, His cheeks began to blow! In a desetred workshop Here stood our jolly foreman Rotating his big bearing On something... you must know! But time is passing quickly, The shift is almost over. And soon a lot of people Across the room will go. Bethought our jolly foreman And grasped that big steel bearing And tried to take that bearing Off something... you must know! You see, a human body May often give surprizes. And having tried to pull it For twenty times or so, Then realized the foreman That something had got swollen Too much to take the bearing Off something... you must know! The people then appeared And roared, of course, with laughter - - They never had expected To see here such a fun! But suddenly the foreman Began to cry out loudly And pleaded with the workers For something to be done! They dialed 9-11 And asked to call a surgeon. He brought him to a clinic And found his special saw. And then began the surgeon Sarcastically smiling To saw that big steel bearing On something... you must know! But half an hour later The bearing still was solid. The surgeon got astonished As he had never got! At last the saw got blunted, And bloody big steel bearing On something... you must know it Began to get white-hot! This moment the poor foreman Began to groan out loudly, And wished to stop his torment Already at one blow! And begged the foreman sobbing: "I cannot stand the torture! Oh please! You better cut off My something... you must know!" The surgeon answered firmly: "I have no right to do it: To make your wife unhappy And make you suffer too!" The doctors then took councel And finally decided To call the plant director And ask him what to do! They say: "Oh, would you tell us How we can cut the bearing? It is extremely solid! What really should be done?" He answered: "Our bearing Can only just be broken When hit it with the power That's eaquel to one ton!" ...But suddenly appeared The biggest Star of Medicine! A very gifted surgeon. He looked and said: "Oh, no! You only wait a second!" And cut the something open, And poured off all the juices From something... you must know! And then he took a needle, And everything repaired. And pulled away the bearing And no-one noticed how! And our old poor foreman Was given prohibition To do his husband's duty For seven years from now! They brought that big steel bearing Right to a plant museum. And just below this story Is written on the plate. The moral is the following: "Be pick and choose forever When having some relations, Untill it's not too late!" Because, if you feel gloomy And everything is boring So you may loose your temper And spoil your life for long! Control yourself when one day You feel your fingers itching To put some bad... you know it... On something that is wrong!